Reboot….When in doubt, just turn it off, count to 10 and turn it back on.
This is the best way to describe where I've been these past couple of months. I needed to power down; to reboot. We go through many phases in our lives that demand so much time and energy that we can begin to stretch ourselves thin. For me this was seen within the form of a career shift. As much as I was in control of where I was headed, I wasn’t prepared for the emotional and physical demands it would bring me. I got so frazzled and unsettled, I needed a hard stop to refocus. And after some reflection and shifting, I'm here again; refreshed and reset!
It can be hard to admit we need to pause or slow down. It can feel like a step back or even a failure. That hustle culture starts to bear down and you just keep pushing. You tell yourself, "Ill take a day off after I complete this one project" or "I wont take on anything new." We delay and overcommit often to keep up appearances and to not disappoint the expectations of others. This time though, I was the one who had set too many expectations for myself. I was trying to pursue all my passions at once and expecting to meet each with the same level of commitment. I had let my boundaries go unchecked for too long, and was paying the price.
The slow down allowed me to ask myself "Is this serving me or is it time to let it go?" When I removed myself from the extras and got down to the foundational level, it provided the clarity that I was seeking. I completed an inventory of where my energy was going and most importantly, how it made me feel. Based on where I was, I could add back what I had time for and put the rest on the side for now.
I really want to emphasize the importance around how these choices and commitments make me feel. We need to feel that pull, that desire, the excitement. You want the response to be a resounding yes please when making choices. Any other answer and I strongly suggest you wait to formulate a reply. Take an intentional moment and find out why there is hesitation or warning signs. Its okay to say I'll need a minute to consider. And this doesn’t just apply to the request of others but also to your own desires. Sometimes we need to ask why we are overcommitting. Why cant I say "Not right now"?
That anxious, worrisome inner critic likes to remind me that this slow down or passing on opportunities is really just me admitting I can't handle the pressure of it all. Despite my awareness, I still need to confront that sneaky little mean girl soundtrack. Here's my response to that closed way of thinking:
We can serve our goals in phases, I do not need to burn myself from all angles to be considered successful. Its completely okay to say that this area of my life needs my attention right now and the rest just needs to wait.
As much as I would like to say I can do it all, I can't do it all RIGHT NOW, all at once. That’s OKAY!!
Re-establishing my boundaries around where I share my energy has been really helpful to keep my overactive mind in check. I feel like I have created more time by simply outlining what matters most to me right now and making sure I block time for it. As for the rest, I can revisit them at a later date when I have more to give or it aligns with the path im following. Pausing has allowed me to be able to remove the expectations and move forward from a place of energetic purpose. Boundaries are keeping me accountable to what I value most in the here and now. I'm not worrying about what I didn’t "accomplish" during my pause or what might happen in the near future.
Although we can feel pressure from the outside world, sometimes our biggest hurdle is coming from within. Its okay to intentionally pause, take stock of commitments and re-prioritize. Then purposefully move forward with intention and compassion.
You can also do this as many times as you need. There is no limit to the number of times you need to refocus. The only person to set the rules here is yourself. If you are honouring your emotional and physical reality, for better or for worse, you will end up feeling more fulfilment.
Xo Dee
Pause and Reboot
I can learn from this. Thanks Danielle.