"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all"
Emily Dickenson
The world feels so heavy, dark and unknown right now. At our fingertips are continuous streams of troubling images, videos and stories from around the world. We are watching in detail the effects of war, the devastation and fear for what each day will bring. It can be a lot to carry with you and in your thoughts. So, where do we find the positives in all this and how do we find hope?
As we continue to wait for news on the resolution to this war we are also trying to find a way to reconcile our feelings about our recent pandemic time period and navigate this new daily life. I know for me the pandemic was a challenge because of what I witnessed in the intensive care unit. The face of covid became clear with each admission and each heartbreak. I will forever carry with me the images of grief, loss and fear. Yet, as powerful as these images are and how they pull at my heartstrings, there are stories of triumph, hope, strength and resilience; we just need to remember them.
Holding onto the positive is something I work on daily; some days it comes easy while other days its hard to push against the weight of grief and sadness.
My anxiety causes me to have excessive worry, typically about daily choices and interactions with those around me, but with the pandemic and war, I am finding myself also worrying on a larger scale. I know when my thoughts are related to my anxiety disorder they often begin with "What if." "What if I don’t know anyone at this new yoga class? What If no one reads my blogs? What if my friend hates me because I tell them how I really feel? What if me or a family member gets COVID? What if WW3 begins and my husband has to got to war?" These what if thoughts start to spiral in to catastrophizing scenarios and I'm swept away into the world of doom and gloom. So how do I break this cycle to negative thinking?
Since becoming more self aware, I have be able to label these anxious thoughts, which has been so helpful. I am learning that thoughts are not my truth, they are fleeting. I have control to observe them, feel them and LET THEM GO! They do not control me as I once thought they did. I have gained power in knowing I do not need to embody every thought, I get just say no thank you, that doesn’t serve me. With the power to acknowledge the thoughts as separate entities, I can also begin to challenge them and form more positive outlooks.
I want to circle back to hope because as much as my anxiety would love for me to believe that all my scary, fearful thoughts are my reality, they don’t need to be. Practicing gratitude has helped me find my footing and given back my power. "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity" Melody Beattie.
Although I cannot control what's happening across the globe or what happened during the pandemic, I can look at what I have and be grateful for that. I need to stop worrying about the what ifs of tomorrow and the whys of yesterday, I need to focus on today and now. While I concentrate on todays experiences, I will hold onto hope for peaceful tomorrows.
The shadows of these times cannot last forever, the light will always come.
Xo Dee
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