As we begin to feel the warmer weather upon us, our free time naturally we gravitate to activities like spring cleaning chores and get togethers with friends and family. Before you know it, the weekends are over and its back to work again.
As great as it feels to garden, clean my windows & have BBQS with my favourite people, I still need time by myself. Often, we say it's hard to find time for ourselves or have guilt at the thought of doing something for us. Reconnecting to ourselves does not mean big plans and full days away from our usual routines.
It starts with 5 minutes.
Consider this; life is a river. Some parts flow calm and peacefully while other sections are fast moving and a bit unsettling. Ready or not, it's always moving forward and without realizing, it can feel out of our control. We begin to tumble around, at times maybe struggling to stay above water. I know when I decided it was time to make change it felt like a huge adjustment. How can I begin to reconnect with myself without letting all those other parts of my life suffer. I've mentioned before, I am someone who wants to do it all and do it all perfectly; Wonder woman (an expectation that sets me up for failure). Taking time for me felt like I suddenly was swimming against the current.
What I realized was that I went straight to the deep end of my self-care efforts. I wanted to add yoga, journaling/blogging, connecting with friends, reading all my books, reducing screen time, and learning to speak French to my life, every day, all at once. I wanted to do it all with the hope it would fill my emotional tolerance bucket as soon as possible; I wanted to begin living that dream life immediately. I figured with my sudden awareness of my dreams and goals and taking all these actionable steps, that everything would shift instantly, and I would stop feeling lost and disconnected. I went too big too fast and of course, I let all those amazing self-love full filling activities dimmish again. I felt like I wouldn't be able to find my way back to myself and I had thoughts that I wasn't trying hard enough.
I needed to start slow and learn to give myself 5 mins. You don’t have to know how you are going to spend the time, just practice learning how to make it a priority. It’s a practice in setting boundaries for yourself! Despite how busy our lives are, there is always a few minutes available somewhere, but you need to confidently say, "I'm taking a few minutes to myself," and see how it feels.
During this intentional pause, you are practicing how to remove yourself from life's fast moving current. You aren’t trying to swim upstream, forcing gestures of self-care to fit where you don’t have time and you aren't trying to change the direction the river flows either. It’s about sitting on the riverbank, learning to watch life flow & giving yourself the time to take a breath.
A 5-minute pause is the perfect check in with your mind and body. “How am I doing today?” & “What would serve me most right now?” You are learning that it is okay to put you first and you deserve that. When you can drop into yourself, assess what you are feeling, become curious about how these emotions are sitting in your physical body, you can then understand how to best show up in your day. This not only honors your needs but allows you to authentically show up for those in your life too! You can set realistic expectations and feel like you did enough for today.
What you do during this time doesn't really matter. It is all considered important and "productive." How you give back to yourself is unique to you and where you are in the moment. Have curiosity, compassion and a non-judgmental mindset. It is amazing how things begin to shift.
Awareness of your needs is an important step; taking action begins with small manageable steps.
You are doing awesome!
xo Dee
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