What is the value in engaging in self care practices? I have days where my mind is full of lists, thoughts, ideas and dreams; to the point where it feels like its going to explode. While my mind is consumed with the whirlwind of contemplation, I'm not engaged with what my body is doing in the present moment. How many times have you gotten home and thought, I don’t think I remember exactly how I got here or you suddenly find yourself in the middle of a conversation with someone only to realize you didn't hear a word they said. All of this time spent in your mind is creating more work for you in the present moment, causing distress in relationships and making you to feel disconnected. This is one of the times where the value of self care shines!
The first thing that usually comes to mind when I'm overwhelmed is that it often feels unattainable. The first reaction thought is "How can I begin to find time for myself, my schedule is already so busy. I cannot start anything new." All of a sudden, self care becomes daunting or just another thing to add to the already busy schedule. I know how important self care practices are for my overall wellbeing but where do I begin to carve out time to care for myself and not hold judgement towards this seemingly "invaluable" activity?
Self care is purposeful engagement in activities that promote holistic wellbeing to oneself, promoting healthy minds and bodies and managing illness when it occurs. Activities include mindful eating and hydration, exercise (this doesn’t mean the most aggressive form, it can be as simple as walking), getting enough sleep, staying connected to friends and family that support and encourage you, goal setting, gratitude practice, & activities to promote relaxation. The concept of self care is to ensure that our basic needs are being met and I believe this is the part that is most over looked when we begin to prioritize ourselves.
Many aspects of life, such as work, school, courses, and my children's extracurricular activities, readily present themselves as valuable pursuits. These are the daily commitments that fill my schedule and often revolve around financial considerations. In contrast, when I reflect on my self-care practices like yoga, walking, reading, meditation, journaling, sitting quietly, opting for an early bedtime, or indulging in some extra sleep, it becomes apparent that these activities have been given a lesser, tangible value. I have created a value system revolving around financial stability and socially acceptable pursuits. How do I hold equal space for all of these parts, without judgement? When I combine all these aspects, turns out I'm often more successful and typically happier pursuing my goals.
It feels as though the hustle mentality and being driven by financial scarcity can often become the barrier to seeing the value in slow, purposeful activities. We need to find the power and awareness to notice when we are being carried down the highway in the fast lane headed for overwhelm and burnout. How do we get in control again, and learn to move between the lanes.
Its OKAY to shift to the slow lane or even pull off to the comfort station for a full stop and refocus.
We are all striving for greatness, success and stability, yet we do not all need to move at the same speed. When we move to the slow lane of self care practices, we allow ourselves the space to relax our nervous system and move from our thoughts back into our bodies. This provides us a moment to check in along the long ride of life.
I mentioned earlier how being lost in thought takes us away from the present moment, often disrupting sleep, eating and enjoyment of activities. Try something for a moment:
Take a minute to focus on your physical body. Take stock of the sensations you are having in your body right now. Are you holding tension in a specific area? What does it feel like or look like? Can you get to know this feeling more?
Suddenly your aren't lost in thought, you’ve dropped into the current moment.
This is an activity to promote relaxation and can be done at anytime.
Being able to step off the gas and check in to the physical body allows you to make necessary changes to put yourself in a position of success and fulfillment. No one can maintain max speed for their whole life; at some point, you become depleted and exhausted. You might reach your goals, but what did you miss or sacrifice along the way? Although the value of self care is not as obvious or tangible, its power is underestimated.
We also do not need to live permanently in the slow lane. This is about learning to shift between the hustle and the flow. When things feel heavy, stressful and fast, can you use your awareness to move over, relax and reframe? Once we've made space again, how can we shift back to creative, focused, engagement and not immediately pick up where we left off? Like anything, this is all an ongoing practice. Be gentle and compassionate if the shifts are not always smooth.
I challenge you to evaluate how you might be able to make space for self care in your own life. How can you shift your mindset towards awareness and compassion while still pursuing goals and commitments? What narrative have you attached to making time for self care activities and possibly slowing down from time to time?
“Life moves pretty fast.
If you don't stop and look around once in a while,
you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller"
Xo Dee
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