Less Mindless Hustle, More Mindful Magic ✨

"Quit focusing on and talking about the things you haven't mastered yet. The more you downplay how far you have come, the more "not enoughness" energy you put out into the world. You are enough" -Annemarie Molina

This quote perfectly sums up a theme that I've uncovered about my path to success and happiness.

For the past few months, I've been asking myself some deep emotional questions, themes and connections that I've never considered before. These ideas, thoughts and challenges have all been brought forward through a variety of resources, such as yoga classes, women's circles, books & podcasts and table conversations with friends. Through this self work, I am examining all the branches of my life; my career, my relationships, my health & wellness, my spirituality and my passions. I'm beginning to tap into more of my feminine energy, my creative flow; this blog was my first step. As it grows, I'm becoming more curious about what other potential I can unlock. What do I envision for myself, what lights me up and how can I start living these ideas daily? Behind all this positive, excited energy, there is something in the shadows keeping me from fully committing to myself; the question of am I enough?

For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be the best of the best, top of the charts. When I started my nursing career I remember looking to the more experienced nurses saying to myself how awesome it will be when I reach their level of comfort, skill and expertise. Yet with each passing year I still find myself waiting for that moment to appear. I've been nursing for 11 years now, I still feel like I'm not quite there yet (I feel like an imposter and any day now someone will notice). I have realized that I look towards these peers through a lens of lack, I see in them all the qualities I don’t yet possess and I immediately label them as better than me. I don’t look to them and see myself as an equal, I see myself below them. This new realization makes me sad to say it out loud. I know I have wonderful, strong beautiful attributes yet I only see myself as less than.

I feel conditioned to push and grind in order to prove my worth and to be seen as successful by my peers and the world. The quote "rise & grind" seems to be the new motto for success and honestly, I feel tired just reading that, what happened to rise and shine? We seem to have found ourselves on this never ending race to major milestones and some ultimate level of worthiness and success. Amongst all this hustle, I'm going too fast to enjoy all the small successes along the way. Sure I notice them, but I'm not truly sitting in the moment and letting it sink in. I'm collecting the win, shoving it aside because that big trophy is still ahead and waiting to be claimed.

In order for me to truly be happy with this next phase of my life, I need to start building from an understanding and belief of worthiness, wholeness, and gratitude. As a friend recently said to me, "Anchor In. Enough. Its enough. You are enough. You are enough as you are right now." This felt like a wake up call, a snap out of it moment. She hit the nail on the head. This giving and receiving from a place of lack is setting me up for disappointment and unfulfillment. Its still acceptable for me to be setting goals, be inspired by others successes and still desiring more, but in order to feel the happiness that comes from these things, I need to start viewing them through this new lens; I am enough. I am worthy of love and support.

Self exploration can be challenging and scary, especially when you come face to face with those attribute which are hurtful and uncomfortable. The beauty of asking the tough questions and digging deep, is the increased sense of awareness and intense focus for what really serves you; you suddenly start making these shifts towards your purpose and your passion. You move forward with intention and at a pace of your own. You can stop and smell the roses, and whatever else serves you along the way because you have taken back the control.

It is time to start building from alignment and purpose, allow myself to surrender to the unknown and begin trusting the process. I'm going to start challenging the thoughts around lack and start showing up for myself in a supportive and meaningful way. At the end of the day, my support system can tell me until they are blue in the face all that I have accomplished and bring to the world, yet if I don’t feel it or see it, it really doesn’t matter. I need to start being my own cheerleader, my number one supporter. Its time to start seeing myself as worthy and enough, because I am.

It starts with you and the rest will come. For anyone who needs to hear this today,

YOU ARE WORTHY

YOU ARE ENOUGH

YOU ARE CAPABLE OF ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO

Keep up the good work friend, I see you.

Xo Dee

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